Life on skates

A few weeks ago, Lily roller skated for the first time. I thought she would be scared or cry or avoid the challenge. She kept insisting that she wanted to skate. We got out on the rink (I totally thought I was going to die-death by roller skate--some grizzly accident akin to dying during any extreme sport).

Lily had no fear. Her legs would get ahead of her or behind her. Lily brought them back. She would loose her balance and Lily would find it--because it was hers. When she fell (just once), she stood back up, like she always does.

Lily's whole life has been on skates--the ground constantly shifting out from under her, just when she got comfortable. First, an emergency birth--then, an emergency brain surgery. Later, waking from brain surgery and seeing the world spin through eyes that would not work together and focus on one spot.

Her vertigo was so bad that Lily would scream when I lifted her out of bed. The transition from laying down to being held was painful--especially for my heart. I wanted to hold Lily and make her better. But it seemed I just hurt her. It was a hard time to be a mother. Gradually, I got over my fear of upsetting Lily. And Lily got over her fear of being moved and got used to the new normal--life in a spinning, shifting world.

On roller skates, I entered Lily's world--the world of shifting and spinning and teetering. My legs did not seem under my control. It took so much thinking to move and not fall. And when I did fall. Lily laughed and reached out her hand to help me back up.

My wise, young Lily seems to understand that falling does not matter much. What matters is standing back up. It is a lesson on and off the mat. On the mat--it is obvious--take the risk and do the inversion, the balancing pose, the backbend. So what if you fall--you can try again and again and again. That is the practice of yoga.

Off the mat--it is the same--take the risk and fail. Everyday, wake up, strap on your roller skates (death by skate hysteria be damned!) and fall. Then stand back up and go again. Maybe you will find that miracle you've been looking for--maybe the miracle will be the falling--because you tried or the standing back up--because you fell. Whatever it is, it is yours to find.

Meditation: Make it loud

I like my music loud and preferably some sort of alternative, 1990s grunge rock, typically Pearl Jam and yeah, did I mention it has to be loud? I take my music in floods--I want the sounds to envelope me, embrace me and change my cells completely. I love the silence that comes from the noise--there is nothing to be heard except the song I am playing.

When I was about 6, I used to wait to hear Michael Jackson and Cyndi Lauper songs on the radio and tape them. When I was 13, it was New Kids on the Block. Then I one day, I saw a photo of Eddie Vedder on a magazine at the grocery store. I fell in love. The hair, the flannel and then I heard their song, "Jeremy." I was forever changed and a whole world of music revealed itself to me. Nirvana, Counting Crows, Live, Soundgarden, Green Day, Screaming Trees, Smashing Pumpkins.

My music was loud and frequent. It, at times, consumed me. My bedroom became a fortress of grunge. My father, who was in his 70s in the 1990s, stopped wearing his earring aid. My mother gave up trying to control the car radio. And I was happy.

What I never knew is that I was meditating this whole time. I did not figure it out until I was sitting in an Ayurveda class with the fantastic Corinne Corcoran. We spent most of the morning doing Kirtan with a Krishna Das CD. Kirtan is call and response devotional chanting--seemingly opposite of anything I had in my iPod.

I sat, closed my eyes and began singing along. At first, I felt like some freaky member of a 1960s commune in California-Om-ing and Hare Krishna-ing. I remember thinking, "If my mother knew I was doing this, she would totally freak." The thought of making my mother freak out led me to enjoy the kirtan even more (I live to terrify her. She loves it.). I joined in the tide of everyone's voices and suddenly I realized I had gone deeper into myself than ever before.

My intention was to meditate and the rich tones of Krishna Das pulled my mind away. The music drown out my wayward thoughts and drew me inward, to the present and to my truth. It was a game changer for me.

Music changes us on the cellular level. The smallest bits of our body move and clear the way for our minds to delve deeper. Music draws us to our truth. It is like this outer music revs up our inner music and urges us to listen. We all have different outer music that speaks to us--after all our souls are all different and crave different things.

I have two favorite songs to meditate to. First, is my old friend Pearl Jam and a newer song of theirs, Unthought Known. As Lily says, "This is a good song."Lyrically, it is beautiful. Pure poetry. Musically it is delicious. The music layers, bass, guitar, piano, until you are enveloped in the sweet center of a rich dessert. It is decadent. And it is true. Listen to Unthought Knownhere.

My second song is Mountain Hare Krishna by Krishna Das and Sting. Regardless of your faith, you can embrace kirtan. Words are just words--you give them an intention. As Corinne taught me, Hare Krishna can mean whatever you want. It is a tool to draw you deep within, closer to your truth and closer to God, whomever you believe God to be. For me as a Christian, I take Hare Krishna and focus my intention on Christ. Take a listen here to Mountain Hare Krishna.

Try my favorite songs. Pick your own. Listen to it loud. Sing along. Bring your kids. And meditate.

Under the Sea: a mini-adventure on the mat

Today I asked Lily to close her eyes and imagine the beach. With one eye closed, she ran away to the bathroom, laughing hysterically and brought back a towel.

Lily sat on the towel and asked if we could do some yoga--at our imaginary beach. Here's our mini-adventure. Try it-the whole practice takes about 20 minutes.

1. Get in a beach state of mind

Sit on a beach towel or yoga mat with your child. Face each other and close your eyes. Imagine you are at the beach. Ask-what do you hear? What do you smell? What do you see? Let the answers flow-no matter if they are beach appropriate or not. (Today Lily

heard a moose at the beach.)

Then do a little breath work with Ujjayi breath. Ujjayi is also called Ocean breath because of the audible noise produced when you breathe through nose and slightly constrict the back of your throat. For your kids, simply ask them to breath only through their noses and to make an audible noise. Pl

ay with it and be noisy--you are the ocean.

2. Travel in style

Now that you are in a beach state of mind, you've got to get to the ocean. Take some imaginative modes of transport.

Try a bumpy camel ride. Sit with your legs crossed and place your hands on your knees. Round your shoulders forward, like in Cat pose. Then open your chest and roll your shoulders backward li

ke in Cow pose. Keep moving from Cat to Cow in a seated position. Imagine yourself bopping on a bumpy camel ride.

After that, if you have not arrived at the beach (it typically takes us many poses to arrive), try riding a bike, taking a train or even running. Let your child make up the poses--there are no rules!

3. Go for a swim

After your camel drops you off at the beach, dive right in for a swim. Stand up tall and lift your arms above your head. Exhale and dive into a forward fold (making splashing noises all the way). Inhale and rise back up. Exhale and dive in a again. Repeat several times.

And then swim. Make big swimming arm movements while standing. Or lay belly-down on a mat and swim in place, kicking your legs and paddling your arms.

Stand up tall and finish up with some Surfing. Stand in Warrior 2 pose-legs spread wide, toes facing forward and front knee bent. Stretch your arms out long and pretend to surf.

4. Float away

After so much beach fun, it is time to relax and float away on a raft. Lay side by side on yoga mats. Close your eyes and pretend to be floating. Talk about how the raft feels, the water all around, the sun and clouds above, the sound of the ocean, the wind on your skin. Use a soft voice and encourage your child to talk about the sensation of floating.

When you are finished floating, wake up. Face each other and greet each with Namaste!

If you love it--try Family Yoga, every Tuesday 9:30-10:15 am at Veteran's Memorial Park in Gloucester Township. Classes are $6 per family. For info, email: trinitasyoga@comcast.net